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This Paradise Sucks

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Once upon a hot summer Sunday, we went to the island of Olango for a little dose of beach at Olango Paradise Island Resort [0926 668 1788 / 0927 695 9888]. We got a little dose of beach all right. Even at high tide, the water was only up to our waists as we reached the nets and floaters less than a hundred meters from shore. It was a struggle to get that far as the sand kept sucking our slippers, threatening to swallow the soles and snap the straps off. It was either sink (in the mud–sand) or swim.

See the line and white thingies in the water? Those are the nets and floaters.
And on the right, where the pumpboats are, that's the San Vicente Marine Sanctuary.

San Vicente Marine Sanctuary is just a few meters beyond the nets and a little off to the right side of the resort but the sucking mud–sand combined with the searing sun drained our energy and held us back. (We were too lazy to go to San Vicente Marine Sanctuary legally, via the boardwalk just beside the resort.) And so we let ourselves get stuck in the beach of Olango Paradise Island Resort by sitting around in the water to fend off the heat.


Until the gravitational forces of the moon drain the beach of its water, leaving a long stretch of mud–sand that makes us think we can just walk straight to Mactan Island. But really, other than that, Olango Paradise Island Resort is a nice, quick escape from the city. The area, though not huge, is not cramped. The resort (most importantly the common toilet and shower) is kept clean.

No, Olango Paradise Island Resort isn't my idea of paradise. But it doesn't suck either. Just the mud–sand. Literally.


How to get to Olango Paradise Island Resort:
Olango Island can be reached by a 20–minute pumpboat ride from Punta Engaño Wharf (beside Mövenpick Hotel) in Lapu–Lapu City, Mactan. From Santa Rosa Wharf in Olango, Olango Paradise Island Resort is just a tricycle (Php150 per tricycle) or van (Php300 per way for the resort's van, 12 pax) ride away.


How Olango Paradise Island Resort can suck your feet and your wallet:
Entrance fee Php50
Open cottage Php350
Tables and chairs with umbrella Php200
Toilet and shower use Php0 (free!)
Drinking water (there's a water dispenser in the restaurant) Php0  (free!)
Grill rental Php250
Rooms for overnight stay Php1500 to Php3000
Van transfers Php300 per way (good for 12 pax)

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